Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
last night I used snow as a chaser
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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