im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
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Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
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Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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