I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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