i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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