Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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