went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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