I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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