I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
What a dumb baby whore.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
