Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
