so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
