why didn't you poke me back
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
