I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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