Its about making memories worth repressing
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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