You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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