we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
