First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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