Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
