he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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