I skipped work to stalk him.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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