YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I know her cup size but not her name....
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
