do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
