maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
