I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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