For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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