I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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