After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
