problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
