So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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