Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
