He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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