i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
