he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize