it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
