She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
