Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
