he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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