The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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