also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
