I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
