I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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