Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Randomize