She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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