WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
only you would photoshop your dick
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize