peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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