I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
