all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
