Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
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i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
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My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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