I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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