You're completely useless in the revolution.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
