He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
