At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
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Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I don't deserve a penis
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
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Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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