I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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