if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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