We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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