I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
