It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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