Fuck appropriateness.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
