Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
