got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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